If Sexy Had Stayed
by Thobbit
Summary: Nine conversations that might have happened if Sexy had been able to stay in Idris's body. Dialogue only. Despite what the characters say, not just Sexy/Idris and 11. Ch. 3 is formatted like a script.
1. Chapter 1

**If Sexy Had Stayed**

Five Conversations that Never Got a Chance to Happen

**Sexy**

"Hel**lo**. I'm—"

"Captain Jack Harkness, yes, I know, we've met. Hello. I'm Sexy."

_beat_

"Yes."

_Doctor runs into room_

"Stop that!"

**Fez**

"But I like the fez!"

"No."

_pause_

"Please?"

"No."

_longer pause_

"No, I said no, not even the cowboy hat!" _(every so slightly before)_

"Well what if—oh, fine.

**Pretty**

"But why Rory?"

"Why Amy?"

"Well. she has those legs."

"You think she's pretty for her legs?"

"No! But I understand it's an advantageous feature in human females."

"You just like her because she's, what's the word, orangy, ginger."

_silence_

"But why **Rory**?"

"He has a nice nose."

**Advice**

"When you take her to Asgard, don't forget the duct tape."

"What?"

**Kissing**

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

"Yes, well, another after this one?"

"You will."

"Only it's a bit odd."

"Yes."

"And I'm not really used to this sort of thing."

"Yes."

"I'm better at sonicing."

"I know."

"It's about what you said before."

"Yes?"

"And I thought maybe we could, um, test it."

"It?"

"Back on House, before it stole the box, you said you had a new idea."

"Yes?"

"About, uh, about..."

"Yes?"

"About, er, kissing?"

_breathes_ "Yes." _pulls him close, 11's Theme starts playing, and your mind drops abruptly into a very happy gutter_

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_A/N: If you have ideas of your own, please feel free to write them in reviews. Actual dialogue or just ideas of topics, give me enough and I may add another chapter. Sexy has  
>to be part of the conversation, but the other person(s) do(es)n't matter. <em>


	2. Chapter 2

Three More Conversations with Sexy 

-{+}-

**Technique**

"You don't think River's a better pilot, do you?"

"Of course not."

"Because she can always make the scanner work, and she flies so...smoothly."

"River is very professional, but your technique is far more exciting. All mad bouncing about and pleasurable stroking."

**Forgiveness**

"Sexy?"

"No."

"What?"

"No, it never seems unbearable. I miss my sisters, and I mourn for them, for those dead on the House asteroid or never heard from on other travels, and those lost in the Time War, in the fighting and the ending. But I do not blame you, my Doctor, for the last. Because, though they are gone, I am still here, and I still have you, when I and all my sisters would have been lost, along with this whole beautiful universe. And the Time Lords would have been rubbish without their Tardises, no matter how incorporeal."

"Er–"

"You say you are a madman with a box, but you are not, were not, and never will be the sort of madman you fear. And I know that."

"Yes?"

"So stop seeking forgiveness, or at least accept mine, stubborn thief."

"Oh." _pause_ "Yes." _longer pause_ "Thank you."

**Spoilers**

"So then he–"

"Yes! And he'll be so polite about it, but still–"

"Exactly! So Jim–"

"The fishy one?"

"Yes, Jim the Fish, he–"

"Oh, I know! And there's my thief, with his silly little bowtie, just–"

"Right!"

_Doctor enters room_

"What are you ladies talking about?"

_both: _"Spoilers!"

-{+}-

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_A/N: As before, any more ideas are welcome. Thanks to _**TimeladyoftheHunt**_ and _**bluewingedkitty**_ for their previous contributions; a couple of the former's inspired Technique and Forgiveness, above. I have plans for an extended conversation between Sexy and Amy re:companions, to be written in proper script format, and I don't know yet if it'll be Ch.3 of this or a separate fic. But feel free to eagerly await it! And sorry for the extended note._


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I tried to write this like a proper script. **Bold denotes who's speaking,** _italics are stage directions,_ and underline is just emphasized. My theory is that Sexy can inhabit a flesh avatar, one that isn't made sentient by crazy solar flares. I'm aware that it's impossible for them to actually have made one of Idris, but she was the actress in "The Doctor's Wife", so I imagine Sexy in her body. She just jumps back and forth from the flesh to the box. I own none of the characters, alas. Read, enjoy, and review!

_Sexy/Idris sits in the TARDIS console room, staring into space. Amy sneaks down the stairs and looks around. Seeing no Doctor or Rory, she comes and sits by Sexy._

**Sexy: **Hello...Amy?

**Amy:** Hey, er, Sexy. Ab, how are you?

**Sexy:** I am fine. Would you like to proceed directly to the subject of this conversation?

**Amy:** You still don't quite get human chitchat, do you?

**Sexy:** Don't I? I thought I did quite well. I'm in the right order, aren't I? Yes, and no, and that was too soon, wasn't it.

**Amy:** Er, yes?

**Sexy:** Wait...40 seconds, I think. You would rather ask your question before I answer, wouldn't you?

**Amy:** Yes, please! Look, the Doctor let slip that you think of Rory as the "pretty one", and I just wanted to be clear that–

**Sexy:** He's yours, of course. I know that much of human mating habits. You're terribly selective.

**Amy: **Ookay...

**Sexy: **And I'm not stealing your imaginary friend, either. Well, I am. No, I did.

**Amy:** I never thought–

**Sexy: **Yes you have. It is in your nature to be jealous when one you love spends time with another. You should know I feel the same way, and he is mine just as...Rory? is yours. And now I can be flesh, and it is wonderful for us both.

**Amy:** I know that, it's good he's not so lonely.

**Sexy:** Yes, he tries so hard. All these years, he has taken Companions on his travels, so many female, attempting to have me in a body, even if he did not realize this was his goal, and now I am here.

**Amy: (**_snickers)_ He does go for the girls, doesn't he? I saw some pictures.

**Sexy:** Sometimes they are male, though. _(smiles mischievously) _Some times, there is one who is even prettier than your Rory. See?

**Amy:** _(jumps, startled at receiving a mental picture, then smirks appreciatively.) _And who is that?

**Sexy: **He is called Jack Harkness. _(tiny giggle)_ Captain Jack Harkness.

**Amy:** Very nice.

**Sexy: **But his presence itches me, he is a fixed point in Space and Time ever since Bad Wolf.

**Amy:** He could itch me, I wouldn't mind. Wait, what?

**Sexy:** Oh, my thief has had some fantastic companions of late. Bad Wolf was one. She and I were one, and we saved him from the Daleks.

**Amy:** I've met the Daleks. Nasty little pepperpots.

**Sexy: **_(small laugh) _An understatement. I dislike them greatly; they trap me and kill my Doctor. It was splendid the last time, though. She was born, the human Time Lord, the Doctor-Donna. She was even greater than Bad Wolf.

**Amy:** No, the last time we met the Daleks was with Winston Churchill.

**Sexy:** Oh, the time before last, then. They stole your world, and she saved the Universe, but then the Cracks ate it, and nobody remembers.

**Amy:** What happened to the Doctor-Donna?Did she get a Tardis, too?

**Sexy:** _(sadly)_ No, the Doctor's mind was too much for her human brain to bear. She had to forget. So I suppose the Crack was for the best, that time.

**Amy:** Can you tell us about the Cracks, then? What exploded you? You see all Space and Time, don't you? You must know. Unless it's traumatic, I guess.

**Sexy:** Yes, I know, and you will, too. But I don't think I should tell you now. It's as your–as River would say, "Spoilers". Oh, but she is the best of them all.

**Amy:** As my 'what' would say?

**Sexy:** _(grins)_ Spoilers!

**Amy: **You're worse than the Doctor, you are.

**Sexy:** I am older and wiser in many ways, I think. He would disagree._(smiles fondly)_

**Amy:** Impossible, the lot of you time-travelers. _(gets up) _I need to go find Rory, anyway. Nice conversation. Weird, but nice.

**Sexy:** Good-bye for now. This flesh is weakening as well, I must go back to my myself.

_Amy heads up the stairs, Sexy breathes her glowing golden self out of the Idris avatar and back into the console as the screen fades to black._


End file.
